SUCCESS WITH COURSES
Sarah came on a Parenting Course because she had recently split up with her partner and felt she needed guidance as a single parent as she had experience a very strict upbringing which she did not want to totally replicate. Ten years later she is still putting into practice what she had learned on the course and feels it has stood her in good stead throughout. ‘The listening part was especially good for me,’ she said. ‘I was not prepared to accept poor behaviour, and the course taught me the listening and emotional skills that enabled my daughter to accept that and still feel valued and heard. She is doing brilliantly now and is not having the drug and drink problems many kids struggle with.’
David came on a Parenting Course because he was being denied contact with his daughter after a break-up. The course helped him to ‘keep his hand in’ while he worked to restore contact and he found the group supportive during a difficult time. He also built up his confidence that he would know how to handle difficulties when contact started again.
Peter came on a Managing Anger course because he had found himself about to strike his partner and realized he had a problem. He quickly realized that there were better ways open to him to express his anger and the group helped him see that his expectations of his kids were too high. He thought they were constantly naughty, but learned that often they were just acting their age and needed things explaining to them calmly. He started to save his anger for when it was appropriate and the atmosphere at home improved. Impressed by how Peter had changed, his wife also came on a Managing Anger course.
Beatrice came on a Raising Boys course because she was living with a husband and four young sons – outnumbered! Her husband’s attitude was ‘Boys will be boys’ and Beatrice felt overwhelmed and as if she was turning into a drudge. The course helped her to see parenting sons as a preparing them for adulthood with partners who would not want to drudge for them, and she gained her husband’s co-operation in getting the boys to help in the house. She also learned to help her sons deal with their emotions without becoming ‘sissies’.
Holly came on a Sibling Rivalry course because her eldest son was acting out after the birth of her third child who suffered from severe eczema which needed a lot of attention. She learned to use small amounts of time to make him feel special and the behaviour improved.
SUCCESSES WITH COACHING
Joanna felt a failure because all her friends and family had good careers and partners and she didn't. In coaching it emerged that she was even self-sabotaging herself to ensure she stayed a failure. She soon reached a more realistic view of herself, left failure behind in the past and got a job, shedding a couple of compulsive behaviours along the way.
Jenny kept picking male partners who treated her as insensitively as her parents had. Coaching identified the roots of this and helped her to change. Her next partner treated her with more kindness and respect and she began to demand and accept this.
Wanda had moved across the world to evade a domineering mother . Then she found dealing with her own girls difficult. Rigid parenting had damaged her self-confidence, but she knew she needed some rules. What was the right balance? And what about when mum announced she was coming to stay and started harshly criticizing the girls? With a Managing Anger course and some coaching, Wanda learned how to stand up to her mum assertively while maintaining the relationship and how to protect her girls from being hurt during the visit. She saw her daughters successfully though their teens into adulthood.
George, full-time carer for his young sons, found himself acting angry around them and losing patience. His wife asked him to get help before the boys started to copy him. With coaching he reached more realistic expectations of his boys’ behaviour and learned to help them express their emotions in words rather than acting them out. His wife acknowledged the big improvement he achieved after only 6 hour-long weekly sessions.
Lucy was struggling with her daughter’s Anna’s difficult behaviour. Part of it seemed to be that Anna’s brother was getting far more ‘dad time’ than Anna was, because her parents felt it was important for each child to spend time with their same-sex parent. In coaching Lucy realized that every child needs time with both parents. This was quite easy to remedy and Anna’s jealousy died down.
‘Although I have a degree in Early Childhood Education I find that my two children have different temperaments and before I went on the Sibling Rivalry course I often struggled with their behaviour. Now I feel much better able to handle sibling conflict.’
Aileen, Sibling Rivalry course
‘I would definitely recommend the course and feel like it has really helped me. The length of the course was just right and the tutor was excellent.’
Tom, Raising Boys course
‘This course has been very valuable to me. It enabled me to look back to the root of my behaviours, and analysing things each week has opened my eyes to everything! It seemed so short to me. It has also empowered me as a person and enabled me to gain power in my own life.’
Sam, Parenting Matters course
‘I liked the feedback each week on how people were getting on with their home situations. It wasn’t all just telling us what to do.’
Sarah, Managing Anger course
‘The course was too short, I would like it to have continued and did in fact have some further 1-2-1coaching which was very helpful to me.’
Loretta, Managing Anger course
‘I now have a clearer understanding of my anger patterns and triggers. It was great to get to know a group of lovely people who also struggle with their anger as I do. I felt normal again!’
Allie, Managing Anger course
‘I feel I have a much better insight into the nature of sibling conflicts now, and have some good strategies for dealing with them. My skills are definitely developing and I am now better at dealing with my kids’ negative feelings.’
Lynette, Sibling Rivalry course
‘As a teacher I am expected to deal with children’s behaviour. Since the course I now have cast-iron strategies for stopping children crying and tantrumming. People are so impressed!’
Maria, Parenting Matters course
‘As a GP, patients come to me for guidance on their children’s behaviour. Now I understand a lot more and my own family life is calmer and easier.’
Janine, Parenting Matters course
‘I am separated from my partner and struggling in the courts to get to see my daughter. Coming on the course was a condition of the contact, and I was dreading it, but in fact I learned a lot of useful stuff. Surprisingly, I found myself looking forward to Tuesday evenings and even felt comfortable enough to tell the group about my dyslexia, which has caused me a lot of problems in my life.’
Dave, Parenting Matters course
‘I really liked it that the first session was free, to see if Janice and I felt we could work together. She really listened between the lines and understood and I did not feel judged at all. There was no pressure to sign up. At the end when Janice said she was happy to work with me and would wait for me to get in touch if I felt the same, I decided to go ahead. The relationship was already one of trust, support and cooperation.’
David, Parent Coaching
‘The system of reviewing progress every 6 weeks and deciding whether or not to continue coaching impressed me. I have had lots of counseling and psychotherapy in the past and felt pressured to continue when I was not getting much out of it, but this was different. Instead of digging around endlessly in the past we were focused on changing my thoughts, feelings and behaviour. And it worked. I have maintained the improvement.’
Laurence, Parent Coaching
‘I was worried about my son’s anger after I split up with his dad. I worked with Janice to improve my relationship with my ex for the benefit of us all. Now our son spends time with his dad and goes on holiday with him and we parents haven’t had a cross word in years. Janice also came and did a session at our home with my son which really helped him in some tricky relationships with friends at school where he had been inclined to lash out on the football pitch.’
Sandy, Parent Coaching
‘I had quite deep-seated problems stemming from childhood traumas. Janice was able to relate my present behaviour to those in a structured way that made it much easier to change. I am now forewarned when certain situations come up and can react neutrally instead of feeling like a rejected child whose world is coming to an end. I have learned to treat myself in the way I wish I had been parented, and am satisfied, thank goodness, that I am not passing on to my own children anything bad from my past.’
Jane, Managing Anger course and coaching
‘My young son was taken into care because of my angry behaviour. I had Anger Management coaching with Janice and realised that I was harming myself by reacting as I did. Janice showed me how to use my anger to help myself instead of making things worse for myself. Social services noticed the difference and I now have my son back home again.’
Jenny, Managing Anger coaching
‘I used to think my kids were at fault, but on the parenting course with Janice I learned that I wasn’t really listening to them. In the group we practiced deeper and deeper levels of listening and my relationship with my kids got better and better. This was very timely as I am now entering a serious new relationship where my kids will have a step-dad. Fortunately now I can listen to their concerns and work out what is best for all of us.’
Lana, Parenting Course
‘I lead a very busy life and Janice’s email and text reminders really helped me to remember to use what we had discussed in coaching. I have a head like a sieve!’
Barbara, Parent coaching
‘I liked how doing very simple things made a very big difference. Playing with my son, which I thought I didn’t have time to do, turned him back into the sweet boy I used to have. I realised that I had not been spending enough time with him and that the answer to his stroppiness lay in my own hands.’
Simon, Parent coaching
‘Over a number of years, as I dealt with single parenthood, domestic violence and a heritage of migration, anti-Semitism and trauma in my family, I had a lot of support from a lot of organisations, but it was the work with Janice that really helped me make the changes.’
Mary, several courses and coaching
‘I came on your course when Tamara was three and now she is sixteen and it is still working!’
Jane, Parenting Course