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Emotional literacy, if we have it, is our greatest asset (Gottman/Goleman). It lets us feel and use our emotions to the full while running our lives. Emotions are a biological fact. They are what makes us human and are a key part of our individuality. Sadly all too often we fear them and use a lot of energy suppressing them, often with addictions or compulsive behaviours. If we slowly learn to recognize and accept them we can express them appropriately without embarrassment and use them in partnership with our rational minds to make better decisions and choices. Sadly many of us remain coldly ‘rational’, cut off from people we wish to be close to, acting on ‘impulse’ (unrecognized emotion), channeling our emotions into a restricted range of area that feel safe (football, sex…) or drifting on a tide of sentimentality.

We have medical experts to take care of our health, education professionals to educate our minds, religious leaders to help with our spirituality, but who teaches us the appropriate expression and channeling of our emotional reactions to inform our decisions and behaviour? If our parents couldn’t model and teach this, (and many could not), we may go through life ignoring a valuable resource.

Switching off your emotions is like switching off your smoke alarm. Quieter and more peaceful on the surface, but worrying and deadly dangerous.


Surely not everyone can be equal! Maybe not, but Parentpower believes we should try. If we are aware of the privilege we receive we may be more willing to help others.

For example, it is unfair that people from angry or violent backgrounds were not taught as kids how to control their anger and violence and express their feelings constructively. Parentpower offers them the opportunity to learn.

Parentpower ® is a feminist company and sees sexism as no better than racism.

It is unfair that women are so under-represented in government and in the board room. Parentpower works with women to help them to find their power.


We can’t change the past, ever, at all. But starting with your first session you CAN change your future and how you think and feel about your past. Your past need no longer control your future behaviour.

For example, people (often guys) who were brought up without emotional closeness and affection can feel very uncomfortable when a partner starts to get emotionally close and loving. For them, it can seem easier to just keep the closeness sexual because early memories of emotional rejection and loss are too painful. The partner may feel pushed away and withdraw, leaving the guy with yet another rejection and lost opportunity for closeness, although this is what he was seeking all along. This feels impossible to change, but it can.


We may think that it would take a big effort to change our lives for the better. This is rarely true. Small changes can have big effects. Most relationship changes are best done in stages, testing the water and giving out messages to others that change is on the way. Making carefully-chosen small changes improves your judgment and skill levels and over time gives you the confidence to make big changes if and when you feel and think it is right.

Holly stopped her eldest son acting out his jealousy of a demanding new baby by giving him 2 minutes special time each day getting him into his PJs ready for bed and playing ‘baby’ with him. A tiny change made him feel understood - he still had attention when he needed it. He stopped the difficult behaviour which had taken much more of Holly’s time to deal with..


Let’s try to live our values and beliefs and not just spout them sentimentally. Let’s be open to rethinking them in the face of evidence or we risk becoming bigoted. We cannot tell our children what to think (though we often try), but what they see us living well, they will copy.


Elliot said, ‘Humankind cannot take too much reality’ and this is true! We often spend a lot of energy not facing up to relationship issues – eg keeping busy, smoking, eating, drinking etc - easier in the short term, disastrous in the long term. Often avoiding one problem gives us yet another to deal with. Parentpower will help you to face up to your issues at your own pace. Often working on one issue makes another seem more tackleable. The support of a coach or group means you are not alone.


Parentpower offers full confidentiality within the law.


It’s easy to forget how privileged we are, whether it be from wealth, education, status or anything else and to be unaware of how difficult it can be for others without our advantages. This can make us unrealistic and we can sometimes take credit for what is ours through no effort of our own, or make false assumptions based on our privileged position.


With Skype you can get help via the internet wherever you are. To arrange a session call us by clicking here or add us on Skype with the username "PARENTPOWER"

How to support your kids through sexting, sexualised music videos, Snapchat, internet porn etc.How to keep our children safe physically, mentally and emotionally.  A Head Teacher said 'Parentpower speaks with the voice of reason and authority on the issues that confront parents as their children get older.

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